So first, I have to note some irony here. I got all upset at Cindy McLennan for imposing the real world on fictional characters, and then I did it myself. My excuse is that either Kevin Williamson or one of his staff writers seems to know an awful lot about magick, and portray the basics and workings fairly accurately, so it kinda fools me, too.

Anyway, due to various circumstances, I didn’t get around to posting anything about TVD last week, so I just finished rewatching it and taking notes, so I’ll combine them with the notes I took this week in one long tirade.

Cold open of Matt racing through the woods. Based on the saturation of colors, I really hope this is someone’s bad dream. And we flash into the bar, with all the transitioning vamps, and Klaus telling Jeremy to grow his tattoo. Oh, great, Jeremy. What makes you think defying Klaus is a good idea?  Back to the woods. Jeremy, Damon, and Elena (there she is!) save Matt and he gets to the lake house. I guess they were closer to that than I thought.

Morning time. Did anyone sleep?  Here’s another problem I have: people have decided Elena has no free will left because of the sire bond. If that were true, she wouldn’t be arguing with Damon right now. She’d be a Stepford wife.

Team Stefex. Beccan? Befan? Stecca? Whatever. Ya know, Bex, if Kol is afraid of Silas, maybe you should be, too?

Why do I think Shane really does have Bonnie hypnotized, as has been theorized elsewhere?  Why did she seem to go Stepford calm when he told her she was in control? Hah. Since when does Liz care about jurisdiction?

And so Damon and Jeremy head back to the bar. This doesn’t look good. Hmm. Wonder who . . . ah, Kol. Of course.  That’s right, he befriended Jeremy back in Denver, didn’t he? And he appears to be the only one not on the “save Elena” bandwagon.

Becky and Stefan are rather ineffectual at searching for the headstone.  So, the “herbal tea” really is pot, and Becca seems to like history. Too bad they killed off Mystic Falls only history teacher.

Ha! Liz has been sheriff way too long.  Ooh, did Daddy Bennett just call his daughter weak-minded? Oh, well if she thinks Shane’s really going to tell her the truth, maybe she is weak-minded. Oh, wait, he did. Hmm. What’s his plan now?

So, Klaus wants the cure to destroy it. No surprise there, but doesn’t he want more doppelganger blood, too?

Ha, Kol’s just as good at wording as Elijah. Saw that coming. Question is, why didn’t Klaus?

Hurray, the writers’ used the phrase “couldn’t care less” properly!

Damn, Becca and Stefan have some heat. I think I’m going with Becan, because that’s like bacon, and it sizzles!

Interesting. Who’s this guy? And why didn’t Becca and Stefan think of hidden panels?  Becca, he can’t talk if you’re strangling him.

Shane really knows how to push Bonnie’s buttons, doesn’t he? No fair dragging grams into all this.

Is it just me, or doesn’t Elena realize there’s something wrong with Damon? It’s not like he’s really been this nice to Jeremy before. But I guess if he was insistent, she’d take him to the bar, but why didn’t he go there himself? Well, at least Jeremy knows there’s something wrong now. And I guess Damon does, now, too (remember Kol compelled him to forget the compulsion). And why the hell didn’t Elena just stealth-Salvatore right after him? That was stupid.

Well, it’s good of Damon to attempt to warn Jeremy, at least.

Oh, kay! This guy was definitely compelled before being vervained. And do we have a supply back in town now? If not, where’d he come from/get it from? Fourth team, huh? Good point, Stefan.

And Dark!Bonnie shows up. Interesting. Shane used the same phrases, “Bonnie, look at me.” “I am here with you. You are in complete control.” No, I think he’s in control, and those are the control words.

Heh. It keeps calling him. Good one, Beks!

Oh, Jer-Bear. You can’t beat Damon. You can shoot him in the head to give yourself time to get away, though. No real surprise that he didn’t kill him; they’re not going to kill off the main three. Not for realio-s. Daggering Originals, OTOH, is another thing all together. Why did Becca even let Kol talk? Good thing Klaus was there to rescue her.

And Damon can’t or won’t control the compulsion for love of Elena. Wonder if it would’ve been different sans blood scent? This will come back in to play later.

Ah, Stefan showed up after all. And we’re back in the Salvatore’s ubiquitous cell. And yes, you know Elena’d just let Damon right back out. Wait, what right does she have to call him out about Becky? Oooh. That’s right, Elena, take a good, long look. Stefan’s not in love with you any more.

Daddy Bennett, Bonnie’s made it this far/long without your help. What makes you think she needs it/is going to take it now?

“Not knocking’s our thing.” Heh. But really, Stefan, what makes you think Becca would trust you? Hmm. I guess he’s going to take her up on her offer. Woohoo! Team Beccan!

Meanwhile, back at the Gilbert ranch, Klaus tries to play babysitter. Elena and Jeremy are having none of it. Oh, Elena. Your plans never end well.

*     *      *

Ha! Nothing like trying to sneak out of someone’s room only to be caught by their sibling. Even stealth-Salvatoring doesn’t help in that instance. Love how Beckster just told Klaus straight up what he could do with the dagger.  Stefan’s thinking about it, though.

And it looks like they’re having a decades dance this week. Should be 80’s, unless I miss my guess. Nope. And Bonnie plays exposition fairy. Oh, come on, Bons.  Of course Caroline will notice if there’re only 89 balloons. Yeah, good luck with that, Kol. Bonnie’s been giving vampires migraines since Season 1. So Bonnie goes Dark!Bonnie on him, balloons start popping, and suddenly I’m having flashbacks to The Secret Circle.

Oho, looks like someone was able to use the Internet to order enough vervain to put in the town’s water supply! Wonder who did that? (Like we don’t already know that there’s a Red Shirt extra character just piling up the reasons to be offed soon.) And yep, Bons plays Exposition Fairy again with Daddy Dearest. BTW, at some point in the show he mentions a list of places associated with evil witchcraft, or something similar, IIRC. Anyone else notice that all those places are actually those places associated most often with voo-doo?

So, Klaus is going to baby-sit Damon? This should go well. Not.  Ooh, Stefan’s already removed Elena’s picture from his phone. Guess he is moving on. Maybe he’ll have enough balls to tell her that her plan is stupid? No, he just turns the motorcycle on to aid in covering up the conversation from Klaus. Even though Klaus is supposedly several hundred feet down in the basement away from the front door. Then again, we don’t know the exact layout. Maybe the cell is right underneath the entryway?

Somehow, I don’t think Stefan’s really agreeing to dagger Rebekah. I just don’t believe him. And now to a “truce” with Kol? Ha! Best case of stealth-Salvatoring ever! Be careful what you wish for, Elena. Kol just might give it to you. Especially since he brought the Original killing stake with him. How very obliging. Of course, I think he actually believes that she’s not wily enough (and definitely not strong enough) to get it away from him.

Ah, Klaus and Damon bonding. We’re not talking about our favorite Vampire Barbie here, are we?

Really, Daddy Bennett, not only is it too little too late, but you shouldn’t piss a witch off. Stealing cell phone and car keys? That won’t work. And Vampire Hunter Jeremy’s stronger than any ordinary human, so let’s make like a banana and split. Oh, hello Persia White. That’s who you play. Wait, isn’t she a vampire now? Jeremy can just stake her, right? Or Bonnie can give her a migraine? Of course, she has a point, everyone is always doing something to save Elena on this show. Except Kol. Finally! I was waiting for Jeremy’s vampire instincts to kick in.

“What does it matter what I want if I put everyone else in danger?” Come on, Elena. Kol’s not that stupid.  There’ve been plenty of times you’ve put others in danger, although I guess it wasn’t always what you wanted.

And Stefan and Becca are doing the 80s thing while Matt looks for the dagger. Ha! I remember those koala pins.

Whoops, bet they’re wishing they hadn’t invited Kol in now. Finally, Elena shows her stealth-Salvatore powers. Where were they last week?

For a moment there, I thought Bonnie’s mom might be interested in the cure. But as a former witch, she knows darn well that Expression is dark magic. What’s that powder she has on her hand, though?

Oops. Told you, Elena, your plans suck. Klaus is going to come riding to Kol’s rescue, and then you’ll all be dead. Except you’re one of the main three, so who’s going to rescue you? Bonnie’s out and Matt probably doesn’t have the dagger yet.  Who’s team #4? Elijah? #pullthedaggerout! (Yes, I know he’s not daggered any more, I just wanted to finally have an excuse to say that).

Ooh, Rebekah has the dagger. Uh oh. Ouch! Getting stabbed with your own house has to hurt. And back to the dance. The Breakfast Club Slide! Wonder how many pairs of boots they went through before finding a pair that didn’t slide? Well. Looks like the Bekster’s on board with daggering Kol after all. They’d better bust ass over there to save the Gilbert siblings.  Matt looks awfully relieved, doesn’t he?

Back to the Bennett’s.  Um, if Mama Bennett lost all her witchy powers, I suspect she’s not going to be able to keep Bonnie down for long. Yep!  Maybe she’ll get to the Gilbert’s on time?

OK, Kol was caught by surprise. And I guess it’s hard to think straight when someone’s attempting to wrest a cleaver away from you. Not to mention when your face is burning with vervain . . . OMG, it worked. OMFG!

(I was really surprise that Thomas Galvin’s recap didn’t say something along the lines of “Twitter explodes” at this point. But maybe they’re more spoiled than I am?)

Ah, yes, witchy migraines and sealed Gilbert living room. Nothing Bonnie hasn’t done before. So much nicer to see her doing stuff sans nose bleeds.

Hello, Stefan just put Beckster in the category of people he cares about. Excellent! He’ll be able to talk her ’round.

And denouement. Kol’s compelling of Damon has been broken. Stefan has the headstone, so I guess Rebekah took that leap of faith. OK, drawing on the new moon for a spell is nature-based witchcraft.  Ooh, yeah, bring Katherine back! I’d love to see Nina Dobrev playing the doppelgangers when both are vampires! (Because you know Elena’s going to be human again before the end of the season.)

Ooh, Damon! Payback’s are a bitch, aren’t they, Stefan?

Oh, how I ❤ this show, especially when they put a smile on my face at the end.