Of course Rachel’s a diva. Good luck, Kurt!

No, Finn didn’t coach them all the way to Regionals, but I’ve decided to fanwank this improbably convoluted storyline that’s getting them there.

Our first number of the evening is, appropriately enough, Beyonce’s “Diva”, as performed by Unique, Brittany, Tina, Blaine, Kitty, and Marley.

In NYC, Kurt and Rachel have a catfight.

Tina, who still has a hugely inappropriate crush on Blaine, gives him a cold kit just in time to help him launch into Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.” Have I mentioned yet how much I miss Tinkles the Piano Man? For that matter, the whole back-up band looks new.

Ah, the queen of Divas! Santana’s back with some of her fellow university cheerleaders to show them how it’s done with Ike and Tina Turner’s “Nutbush City Limits”. Blake looks like he’s in serious lust. Sorry, boy, you’re not her type.

Hmm. I wonder if Rachel’s going to throw the diva-off this time. I think she might.

I have to side with Sam. Santana did break up with Brit-Brit, and kinda sorta because she was tempted to cheat. But being Santana, it’s obvious that she expected Brittany to just wait around for her. But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying their duet of “Make No Mistake, She’s Mine”, though I think Naya Rivera overpowered Chord Overstreet when they were singing together.  Originally by Kenny Rogers and Ronnie Milsap, the version they do was a Kim Carnes and Barbra Streisand cover. And I’m glad Brittany overheard it all. Maybe it will spur her to choose for herself.

Blaine and Tina work so much better as friends. I hope she finds someone else soon.

Fight Club. Midnight Madness. Rachel and Kurt are assigned “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables. Rachel knocks the final note out of the park, but her boyfriend smiles at Kurt’s performance and even her gay BFFs desert her, so Kurt wins.

And Sue goes meta in response to Gleeks criticisms.

After Blaine falls asleep before she can confess her love to him, Tina Cohen Chang gets her diva on, and we’re given an 80s flashback with Madonna’s “Hung Up”. I do agree with Demian that the show has given up all pretense of it actually being winter in Ohio.

Kurt and Rachel are back on track.

Well, that’s one way to make a woman stop having hysterics, Finn.

And Santana moves in with Kurt and Rachel and Brody in NYC, closing out the show with Alicia Keyes’ “This Girl is On Fire.”