At the Pit Keep Going (thanks, M. Giant), Phil hands Team Survivor another clue. They’re headed to Bali. Dave doesn’t want to give up (although I suspect they’re the team that [had to] quit this past Sunday), so they head to the airport. I hope they don’t have to wait for a flight, because if there’s too much bunching, I don’t think they’ll be able to keep their advantage. But as this episode goes on, Phil is quickly checking the other teams in, so it looks like my hopes are for naught. Sure enough, Team Newlyweds phone a travel agency, and find out the fastest flight is at 8:30 AM. Luckily, only four teams make that flight. It occurs to me as I’m typing up my notes that we didn’t know what time they hit the PKG, although it looked like daylight. At any rate, three more teams make a flight that lands at 12:05 PM, and the last two are on a third flight, which has a different layover but is also scheduled to arrive at 12:05 PM.

Once the teams arrive at Bali, they have to head to the Monkey Forest and hand a coconut to a monkey, which will tear it open (eventually) and pop out a capsule with their next clue. Don’t ask either me or M. Giant how they got the clues in the coconut in the first place. This next clue is for a Detour: Sandy Bottom or Fruity Top. Sandy Bottom sounds faster, but I suspect Fruity Top will be easier on Dave’s leg, and they evidently agree with me. In fact, all the other teams except for Team Roller Derby pick this one.

Team You Tube’s alliance with Team Surf gets them to Bali about 10:30 AM. Team Survivor exposits that they have a two or three hour lead. I presume they mean over the final flight? Because the other three teams are hot on their heels to the Detour.

Team Brohockey gets stuck with the taxi driver who doesn’t know where anything is, but otherwise, placings don’t seem to shift much, despite the erroneous subtitles that first label Teams Surf and You Tube as being in 5th and 6th place, respectively, then do the same for Teams ‘Bama and Roller Derby. Maybe because we haven’t seen the other two actually arrive at the Detour yet? No, guess it was just a screw up on the engineer’s part. Oops. Teams BFF and Survivor are the first two teams away from Fruity Top.

So Team Surf arrives at the detour. Well, almost. Despite the lack of any red and yellow flags or display of race colors, a task coordinator who understands/speaks any English, or even any, well, FRUIT, they promptly decide that whatever miniscule thing this poor guy whose yard they’ve invaded is the example of their offering (it appears to be made out of flower petals), and quickly make another one, even putting a piece of unwrapped candy on it. The Balinese man is even looking at them like they’re total idiots. Or in this case, obliviots (oblivious idiots, for those of you not good at this new method of creating portmanteau words). After they waste an unknown amount of time, they reread the clue and discover they were supposed to put on sarongs first. Somehow, these are provided to them by someone who actually speaks English. They ask him to ask the gentleman if he’s seen anyone else like them. “Not yet” is the reply, but now the English speaker is reading their clue, and tells them they’re at the wrong house, so they go running off down the street.

Team You Tube arrives at Fruity Top. Team Brohockey’s monkey disappears with the coconut. Team Roller Derby arrives at Sandy Bottom. John of Team Surf brags about his anal retentive details obssession as he blatantly screws up the offering. Never mind that a lack of attention to details like a lack of race colors AND FRUIT FOR A DETOUR CALLED FRUITY TOP caused them to waste time doing the completely wrong thing. Team ‘Bama arrives at Fruity Top. Team Brohockey somehow got their clue back and choose Sandy Bottom, but their cabbie doesn’t know where that is, either. Luckily, he says he does know where Fruity Top is, so they decide to go there instead. I just hope they leave that poor man in house #1 alone.

Team BFF benefits from not having to navigate themselves and arrive at the Roadblock still in first place. Phil explains they have to find a surf shop in what turns out to be a multi-level maze of a bazaar, then find the one surf board depicting something all the racers have “encountered”, a picture of the priest who gave the teams their blessings way back in Bora Bora. Once they find it, they have to find their partner again and head to the Pit Stop. If they don’t have the right board, they get to do it all over again.  Connor manages to sneak a peek at Winnie’s board, and, while she gets lost as usual, he gets Team Survivor in first place again. This time, they’ve won $5,000 each.

Team Surf can’t figure out what they’re doing wrong with the offering, and decide to switch Detours. John claims he doesn’t want to waste the Express Pass. Team YouTube finishes the offering. Team Country Blondes grab the wrong surfboard. John says they’ll make a decision about the Express Pass if Team Roller Derby is still at Sandy Bottom when they arrive. Team Roller Derby is shown getting their clue to the Roadblock as Team Country Blondes look for Phil.

With ten minutes left in the episode, Team country Blondes is ready to prove the third time’s the charm, even though they don’t know it; Team You Tube went to the wrong beach and are now walking to the correct one and being passed by Team ‘Bama in a taxi. But it’s still daylight, and all of these teams have been giving interviews at night, so while I was going to stop here and only discuss the laggards, we’ve reached the point in the race where the ending can be just as interesting as the beginning.

Team ‘Bama is extremely lost, in fact, Chuck looks like he belongs with Team BFF, plus he has the wrong board to boot. Team You Tube checks in as Team 5 while Team Roller Derby, right behind them, is sent back. As they charge off, Joey gives back to the alliance and shows them the correct board. Team Surf finally finishes the Detour, having no clue that they’re in absolute last place. They claim they’re going to use the EP if the Roadblock is too hard, but it’s a surfing task and they are, after all, Team Surf.

Team Roller Derby also gives back to the alliance, by not showing Team ‘Bama, who isn’t part of the second alliance, the correct surfboard. Team ‘Bama is now in a race for last with Team Surf, but a) Chuck knows where he’s going now, and knows at least one board which it isn’t, and b) Team Surf is still looking for the surf shop to begin with. Of course, we don’t get to see which board Chuck grabs for take two, just to ratchet up the suspense for the possibility of Worst. Use. Of. Express Pass. EVER.

John is using a headlamp now, to futiley search among the boards. He grabs one, finds his partner and the Pit Stop, and is told it’s not right. When he moves to look at the others, Phil flatly tells him he’s not allowed to. We get a chyron telling us that 1 hour and 15 minutes have elapsed as he finally gets the right board. If this turns out to be a non-elimination leg after a PKG, I might just throw something, that’s how badly I want these dweebs to be Philiminated.

And they are. John proves remarkable sanguine about being the first team in TAR history to be Philiminated while still holding an Express Pass. He calls it notable. Yeah, but not in a good way, dude. He points out there’s no point in getting upset over past decisions they now have no control over. Wow. Phil winds up looking at the camera in disbelief and saying, “Oy, vey.” and everyone is thrown so much that the usual end credit music is kinda wonky.

Next Week (ok, ok, two days ago): Double U-Turn! And one team (is forced to?) quits.