Category: Glee


Two week hiatus

According to the Fox website, Glee will return on March 7.

Advertisements

Diva – Glee Season 4 Episode 13

Of course Rachel’s a diva. Good luck, Kurt!

No, Finn didn’t coach them all the way to Regionals, but I’ve decided to fanwank this improbably convoluted storyline that’s getting them there.

Our first number of the evening is, appropriately enough, Beyonce’s “Diva”, as performed by Unique, Brittany, Tina, Blaine, Kitty, and Marley.

In NYC, Kurt and Rachel have a catfight.

Tina, who still has a hugely inappropriate crush on Blaine, gives him a cold kit just in time to help him launch into Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.” Have I mentioned yet how much I miss Tinkles the Piano Man? For that matter, the whole back-up band looks new.

Ah, the queen of Divas! Santana’s back with some of her fellow university cheerleaders to show them how it’s done with Ike and Tina Turner’s “Nutbush City Limits”. Blake looks like he’s in serious lust. Sorry, boy, you’re not her type.

Hmm. I wonder if Rachel’s going to throw the diva-off this time. I think she might.

I have to side with Sam. Santana did break up with Brit-Brit, and kinda sorta because she was tempted to cheat. But being Santana, it’s obvious that she expected Brittany to just wait around for her. But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying their duet of “Make No Mistake, She’s Mine”, though I think Naya Rivera overpowered Chord Overstreet when they were singing together.  Originally by Kenny Rogers and Ronnie Milsap, the version they do was a Kim Carnes and Barbra Streisand cover. And I’m glad Brittany overheard it all. Maybe it will spur her to choose for herself.

Blaine and Tina work so much better as friends. I hope she finds someone else soon.

Fight Club. Midnight Madness. Rachel and Kurt are assigned “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables. Rachel knocks the final note out of the park, but her boyfriend smiles at Kurt’s performance and even her gay BFFs desert her, so Kurt wins.

And Sue goes meta in response to Gleeks criticisms.

After Blaine falls asleep before she can confess her love to him, Tina Cohen Chang gets her diva on, and we’re given an 80s flashback with Madonna’s “Hung Up”. I do agree with Demian that the show has given up all pretense of it actually being winter in Ohio.

Kurt and Rachel are back on track.

Well, that’s one way to make a woman stop having hysterics, Finn.

And Santana moves in with Kurt and Rachel and Brody in NYC, closing out the show with Alicia Keyes’ “This Girl is On Fire.”

We have a cold open news broadcast that pretty well sums up why the Warblers have a DQ, and since, as Demian puts it, the Rosedale Mennonites are evidently rotting in a grave somewhere, the New Directions are undisqualified and need to raise $400 to rent a bus to take them to Regionals in Indianapolis, or as Artie puts it, “The Paris of Indiana!”

Various ideas are tossed out and shot down, until Tina suggests a beefcake calendar. And it’s going to consist of only the guys, because women are the ones who spend the money. Kitty gets one of the best lines of the show when she backs the idea thusly: “Those Twilight books were poop on paper, and we’ve turned them into a billion-dollar industry.”

In other storylines, Brittany encouraged Marley to go after Jake. Brit-Brit and Sam got the highest and lowest scores in WMHS history on the SAT, respectively.

Oh, and I’m going to get the NYC storyline over in one chunk:  Rachel decides baring her breasts is the artistic equivalent of baring her soul, but she’s not really sure about it, so she has a sing off with Season 1 Rachel via Natalie Imbruglia’s cover of “Torn”.  I’d’ve thought Kurt would’ve been appreciative of a naked Dean Geyer hanging around their apartment in support of her decision to go ahead, but no, he calls in Quinn and Santana for an intervention. They use the 2-2-2 rule to persuade Rachel she really doesn’t want to do this, and once she gets on set and it’s time for her to actually drop her robe, she starts having second thoughts. First, she asks the (all male) crew to take off their tops, then she realizes she’s not ready for this, and the topless crew becomes a topless band for her to meet up with Quinn and Santana as they end this storyline singing Sara Bareilles’ “Love Song”.

Meanwhile, back in Ohio, Jake and Marley declare their love and devotion with Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” and Ne-Yo’s “Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself”, which, I hate to tell you dude, it doesn’t work that way.  And Sam has decided that since all he has is his body, it’s his job to use the lessons he learned as “White Chocolate” to help the Glee guys get ready for their close-ups.  First, he strolls into school wearing nothing but a bathing suit to the strains of Yella’s “Oh, Yeah”, then he holds a seminar entitled “Modern Centerfold: Techniques at Work for Today’s Hot Young Posers” after school where he gets all the guys (except Artie) working out so they and random Cheerios can give us a highly entertaining mash-up of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” (sic) and the J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold”.

Turns out Artie didn’t participate because he’s self-conscious about his not-quite-so-buff bod, but after Sam shows him a video from everyone in glee club talking about how great he is, and promises him he won’t be the only one with clothes on, he agrees to take part.  We get to see all the calendar shots, and they all have at least one item of clothing on. Screaming WMHS girls line up to get autographs and make not-so-subtle passes at the Glee boys. ARtie, whose ‘tude has vastly improved, tells Same he’s really excited about the new year. Sam replies, “Me, too. It’s a new year and a new me!” which segues us right into the final number, A Great Big World’s “This is the New Year”.

But wait, you say, that’s not all that happened this episode! No, indeedy it isn’t. There was yet another storyline happening in regards to the calendar, and it was probably my favorite Glee storyline ever.  Because it wouldn’t be a Glee episode unless Sue was trying to put the brakes on whatever they were doing, so she decided that the calendar was kiddie porn. (Note: Like I said, the kids weren’t entirely nude, not even in the shots with carefully placed props. So for the sake of my enjoyment of the show, I’m going to ignore this minefield and instead revel in her getting the comeuppance she so richly deserves, delivered by none other than our own Finn.)

But when she confronts Finn, he’s got his own ammunition ready. You see, he’s heard that she had her own photo shoot when she was much younger, and it had nothing to do with cheerleading, no, it appears Sue was a centerfold for Penthouse, and Finn knows if he can find a copy he can hold that over her head.  Sue says it’s not true and even if it were she already bought all available copies. Finn sets Artie on the case, and eventually marches triumphantly up to Sue and slams a manila envelope down in front of her.  Sue, being Sue, proudly owns up to her past, and decides she wants to take a look at it. Finn lets her pull the magazine out — it’s Highlights. Sue’s flabbergasted that he let her discover this, but it really doesn’t matter, because he taped her confession.

Corey Monteith and Finn really shone in those confrontations with her, and I hope that Finn remains a formidable opponent for Sue.

Until next week, which I’m posting next, but not as a recap.

Nina Lisa

I need to acknowledge, again, TWOP and the role they’ve played in getting this blog underway. A special thanks to Demian, who is another reason this blog was started, but without whom I’d have no clue as to what some of the songs and artists for this episode were.

Well, I knew the first one, “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” from Jesus Christ Superstar, which an evidently delusional Tina performs in front of the entire Glee club to oh-so-gay Blaine, after which she immediately asks him to her brainchild, a Sadie Hawkins dance.

Let me sum up. Glee Club = outcasts. High school = outcast girls never getting asked to a dance. Enter the Sadie Hawkins dance, wherein the girls do the asking. Yeah, I don’t recall it working for me any more than it did for Lauren (glad she’s back) or Sugar Motta (why didn’t she just ask Artie in the first place? Wasn’t that long ago she was trying to decide between him and Damian McGinty.)

McKinley High, being McKinley High, and entirely fictional (and therefore the rules of even TV Land don’t apply, so it’s required to take this show with a very large dose of WSOD), a group of girls consisting mainly of the current and former Glee outcasts, et al, have formed a club, during the meeting of which is when Tina hatches her brilliant plan. She then manages to convince the class officers to get behind it, and our theme and event of the week are born. Luckily, Finn’s fresh out of ideas to keep the refugees coming back now that they’ve been officially disbanded, so Bieste doesn’t have to work too hard to encourage him to get the Glee ladies into the swing of things by telling them to ask their guy in song.

Which leads us to the afore-mentioned delusional Tina. It seems Tina has fallen in love with Blaine. The closest Blaine ever got to the other team was when he got extremely drunk, laid one on Rachel, and decided he was definitely gay. Sure, delusional’s a bit harsh, but I’m coming from my heart here, having pretty much been there, done that. Besides, wasn’t it she and Rachel who led the gay-tervention for Mercedes when Kurt wasn’t even out yet?  While Blaine very politely turns her down, according to Tina, it’s probably one of the most humiliating moment’s in her life, and much later, she has a heart-to-heart with Blaine and, despite his excellent reason, persuades him to go to the dance with her “as best friends”. They have a good time, but he makes the mistake of dipping her and asking her where she’s been all his life. She sees this as a natural prelude, and so isn’t real happy when Sam interrupts the magic moment.

So what was Blaine’s excellent reason? He’s also suffering from delusion, having fallen for the oh-so-straight Sam. Brittany, of course, has asked Sam to the dance right after Marley beats Kitty to the punch and asks Jake, with a little help from Brittany and one of her “magical turns”, which launches them into costume and “Tell Him”, by The Exciters. (Which I wasn’t sure I knew the title of, and definitely not the group).

Kitty, never one to let anything get in the way of what she wants, corrals Jake and tells him to drop Marley and go with her, basically promising him, if not a BJ, her fair young body as a reward. Jake discusses this with his half-brother Puck, who is back in town still trying to become a screenwriter. Puck intercedes and winds up getting asked to the dance by Kitty, who says it’s the only way she’ll leave Jake alone. Puck thinks he’s seen and done it all and that he can handle her, so he agrees. I say Kitty is Quinn Lite, and that only because that’s who she says she idolizes. She’s really trying to be Santana, and Santana has more meanness in her left eyebrow than Kitty could ever conceive of, but she’s a whiz at gas-lighting Marley.

Blake, who did register a bit of disappointment when Marley asked Jake, was evidently asked by some random Cheerio with a neck brace. I’m not sure any of the other guys were asked at all, but since they earn extra screen time by singing at the school dances, they all show up so that Bieste can whip a bunch of the outcast wallflowers into asking Joe and Artie to dance, by Lauren Zizes and Sugar Motta, respectively.

Bieste concluded this speech by saying, “The worst they can do is say no,” and the camera zooms in for a close-up of her lips forming that word, and it gets a bit echo-y. And since the scene of those two are intercut not with the third wall-flower (although there are more, she’s the only one other who’s been given lines) asking her heart-throb to dance (whom I’ve seen in the background before, and kinda reminds me of BtVS’ Oz), but rather Kurt asking his new crush instead, I’m quite concerned that either all three or else the only one that matters will say no. Fortunately, they all say yes.

Yes, in the Big Apple, Kurt has moved on from Blaine. He’s trying to settle in at NYADA, and since Rachel is busy being the perfect girlfriend for Brody, she has no time to spend with Kurt. So he’s looking for an extra-curricular activity, and is contemplating joining the school’s show choir. Rachel warns him off, since show choir at a performing arts college is full of outcasts even the outcasts won’t associate with. And indeed, as they perform a painfully big band-esqe version of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” (the second song I knew), you can see that they evidently stocked the show choir with the rejects from The Glee Project. I mean, the ones who didn’t even get on. But NYADA’s show choir is named for and led by a young British hunk who goes by Adam (played marvelously by Oliver Kieran Jones), and he is definitely showing signs of interest in Kurt, so when Rachel  pushes him to be the one to make the first move, and he does, Adam happily accepts. Yay! I still heart Blaine and Kurt, but Oliver’s pretty easy on the eyes, and besides, that accent, amiright?

So, this week’s theme being female empowerment and all, Rachel has evidently absorbed the lesson by osmosis, and when Brody shows up 45 minutes late for their date, she immediately starts throwing the cold dinner in the trash. He, in return, charms her into dancing sans music (although at the dance, Blake is performing a nice cover of what Demian says is The Flamingoes arrangement of Warren and Dubin’s “I Only Have Eyes For You”, and it’s intercut). And when he swears he’ll never be late again by virtue of finding an apartment nearby, Idiot Rachel (here I agree with D’s nickname for her) pops back up and asks him to move in.

So evidently Jake’s not a complete idiot evidently; when Marley asks him to be her OAO, he agrees, which you know Kitty’s going to eff up in every possible way (like I said, Kitty’s got a good handle on gaslighting Marley, and again I have to agree with Demian’s assessment of her Kitty-induced bulimia since she never noticed only her costume, and evidently only ONE piece of ONE costume, didn’t fit any more!!! /rantoff).

Before I forget, the reason Sam dragged Blaine away from Tina is that he thinks he now has the evidence he’s been looking for all week/episode: He’s decided the Warblers are doping, and since the Sectionals’ anti-doping rule is applied retroactively, he can get them disqualified and New Directions will somehow have won Sectionals, even though they were also disqualified which should mean that the team that was awarded second place will actually win. Do you see why we need a huge chunk of WSOD? But I’m a complete Gleek, so I’ve got it. I’m sure that, even if I can’t fanwank something, the writers can. ‘Cause I gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith.

And right now, Sam’s got photos of the Warblers looking like they’ve seriously bulked up in just a couple of months, and a video of some random Warbler (I couldn’t identify him, but the Glee wiki website said it’s new-to-Dalton-on-a-scholarship-and-head-of-the-Warblers Hunter) going all ‘roid rage on the poor barrista at The Lima Bean. Finn, settling more firmly into his Mr. Scheuster shoes, complete with button-down shirt and tie, but thankfully sans horrible sweater vests (at least for this episode), explains that the Warblers have such a pristine reputation this isn’t enough. Enter Trent, the sole Warbler not at Sectionals. It turns out that’s because he refused to dope up with HGH, which is something Hunter instituted as a requirement.

I’m not sure why Trent showed up, since although he’s perfectly willing to confirm to Blaine, Sam, and Finn what’s going on, they have to really push him to testify in public. I guess Hunter can kiss that scholarship good-bye. I’m  just worried that will give the Warblers an excuse to once more try to get Blaine back at Dalton, and this time they might succeed.

Anyway, the remaining mandatory Glee club dance performances consist of the guys singing “No Scrubs” by TLC, the girls singing “Locked Out of Heaven”, by Bruno Mars, the lyrics of which I’m surprised are allowed on prime-time TV, especially with the accompanying dance moves. Then again, during the guys’ performance, it looked like White Chocolate had been giving Blake dance lessons, so . . .

There’s another song in there called “Alive and Kicking” which is done by Simple Minds, and while Demian says that’s who sang it during the show, I can’t tell if he’s being serious or using one of his derogatory nicknames for various members of the Glee club.  And I’m too tired to bother playing the episode back to try to find out, so I’ll leave you until next week.

Nina Lisa

Glee

I suspect I wouldn’t know as much about pop culture as I do if I didn’t watch this show. At least when it comes to musical artists, that is. In case you didn’t read my post on TVD, my disagreement with the opinions of the TWOP recappers for this show is part of the reason I started this blog. Expect me to be talking back to them, if I even keep reading them much longer.

Glee heads back to Fox on January 24, but I’ll be watching it online.

%d bloggers like this: